All I Want Is One Thing!!!!

ALL I WANT IS ONE THING!!!!

Is it the hope that things will last,
Is it the thought that shall never part?!

Is it the loving smile of the little one,
Is it the stolen kiss of a loved one?!

Is it the embrace of a love lost,
Is it the touch that yearns most?!

Is it the rain that drowns our sorrows,
Is it that single tear that clears it all?!

Is it the serenity of the mountains,
Is it the flurry of the day tones?!

Is it the time to be relived,
Is it the romance to be rekindled?!

Is it the first ray of sunshine,
Is it the last flicker of moonlight?!

Is it that reason to live,
Is it that one last wish?!

My Shopping List

Here's what you can get for me when you are coming down next time!

Your smile

The autumn leaves

The summer breeze

Your smile!

Your smile
The delicate wave

The tender cave

Your smile!

Your smile

The sip of coffee

The dip of toffee

Your smile!

Your smile

The long walk

The quiet talk

Your smile!

Your smile

The lonely cry

The solely sigh

Your smile!

Your smile

The stolen hug

The hidden bug

Your smile!

Your smile
The silent glance
The stubborn stance
Your smile!

Your smile
The eternal wait
The lasting mate

Your smile!

Your smile

The newfound pain

The longlost gain

Your smile!

Your smile

That bear hug

That'll bring me back to life

Your smile!

Your smile!
Your smile!
Your smile!
Your smile!!!!

P.S.: You might not understand some words (like 'bug'), because they are very relative to someone!

She asked me to ‘leave’!

She asked me to ‘leave’!
‘Leave’ everything behind,

‘Leave’ all those memories,
Memories, are all I have!

‘Leave’ all those moments,
Moments, that are a lifetime!

‘Leave’ all the gifts,
Gifts, that mean the world!

‘Leave’ all that’s lost,
Lost, is what I feel!

‘Leave’ her,
Her, is what I’m left without!

‘Leave’ her,
How many times can you leave,in a lifetime?!

‘Leave’ all at last,
Last, is where I am without her!

Lost Forever

"You've taught me the most valuable lesson in my life", is what she said not realising that she in turn had taught me the lesson of my life. "You've taught me that 'if I ever love anybody and they leave me, then I can live with it'; she says. "I used to miss you like hell, but not anymore. I still miss you, but not as much as I used to"............is what she has to say now.

The whole reason for me walking into her life and making her smile, live, love is defeated now.........everything is futile, gone..................lost forever. She is back to where she was..............or maybe even much deeper, in pain. How miserable, helpless and dead would you feel if you knew that you again were in turn the reason for her to go back to been 'the lost soul'. That's right, I feel DEAD.....................dead because I don't feel anything anymore. What do you do when a relationship dies.

Who am I?

I don’t fit in anymore. I don’t know anything. I’m not the same anymore. I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m not the same that I used to be. And I, yes I, don’t know if I should feel any remorse about it or if I should feel anything at all in the first place.

I know things are supposed to change, but do they change so much that they change you, as a person, as a friend, as a sister, as a mother, as a wife, as a daughter, as an employee, as a human being, as yourself. If change is supposed to be good then why doesn’t it feel good? What you are, you are not anymore. What you wanted to be, you are not anymore.

As a person, you want to be better, but there’s never time to do all the things that you want to ………..go for a walk, steal a moment for yourself to be yourself, give a hug to your lil one, kiss your beau goodbye, call a dear one just for a while, long for that one more moment with you lil one, who does not understand why you have to leave her and go, everyday!

As a friend, you want to be there for your friend, who is closer to you than your own blood. You want to be sure it lasts forever, that nothing goes wrong. And if it does, you want to know what went wrong. But what do you do when a friend that you counted on, does not respond the same way she used to. Why should her perception change? You would like to know what went wrong, where and how, but don’t know how. How to handle her and more importantly, how to handle yourself? Much as you think you can understand, you don’t seem to! How do you tell yourself to understand, when your heart tells you otherwise? There is a reason you crossed paths, there is a reason you became friends, there is a reason you shared what you shared and there is a reason for what you are because of your friend. What do you do, when that friend is not the same anymore? What can you do? What should you do and what shouldn’t you do? What should you say and what shouldn’t you say? What do you do when things are not the same anymore, but don’t know what’s wrong? What do you do, when you want a friend and don’t find one? What do you do, when you want to be a friend and can’t be one? What do you do when you want to give her happiness, and she ends up with more sorrow? What do you do, when you want to take away her sorrow, and you deepen it further? What do you do when only silence speaks, thru the eyes and more truly by itself! And that’s all that’s left to the relationship………………words left unsaid, in the hope of been said, and waiting to be said! Words wrapped in all those millions of moments where you wanted to say what you felt like, but didn’t or couldn’t; hoping that she’d understand the silence in between your inane pleasantries. Words you wish that would undo the change in the relationship, but worry that if said, might change things further. Words you wish she would understand, without you saying it. Words, left unsaid, wrapped in moments of pain, anguish, desperation, wrapped in those lonely eyes, wrapped in silence that speaks for itself! If only, silence spoke, it would have a whole world of truth to tell!

As a sister, you want to be a better sister. Not only to your own, but for the one that you called you own. For the friend, that you called a sister and treated as one. What do you do when that sister does not reciprocate the same feelings, after some time.? How do you understand why and what went wrong? The same sister who said that you too would be her responsibility, her friend, her confidante, part of her life and her heart…….what do you do when she doesn’t smile at you anymore, when she doesn’t talk, the same, to you anymore, when she thinks you give her the negative vibes, when she doesn’t like anything about you anymore? No matter how old you are, how do you come to terms when you lose....


End: Who am I? Out of all these, which face is mine? Is it someone I can face, with pride, love and warmth, or not?! I’m trying to find myself, I’m trying to BE myself, in a life that I have lived……………………..but not known!